“Hello, fellow beard people. My name is Paddi and I hail from Hull; the St. Tropez of East Yorkshire.

“Having practised martial arts for quite some years I was pleased to find my face had acquired a new, more becoming, flatter countenance and was able to give it up, allowing me the time to pursue a hobby in cycling.

“My other interests are tattoos, motorcycles and motorcycle rallies, philosophy and various genres of music from classical to Death Metal, via Punk, Blues and Hardhouse.

“I once spent some time living at a Buddhist monastery and have two sons; one aged 25, the other 7 months. My good lady, Taz and I live in as much sin as we can manage.”